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It seems we have more pictures of Mr PassionCpl in panties than in anything else, but today’s SPOTD is a change of scenery and takes us ‘back to basics’, so to speak.

Which reminds me, I must add bananas to our shopping list…

I’m going to do something a little different for this one. While this review is primarily for the Banana flavoured lube, we’ve also just bought the Mint. Since it wouldn’t be right doing the same review twice, I’ll post my thoughts here and touch on both flavours briefly.

So, first things first. We bought the Banana version of this last year just for kicks rather than necessity (see how we got that in there?) Having already tried Evolved Novelties’ Oral Sex Candy Spray and had good results, we thought we’d try something a little different. Besides, you can’t really go wrong with Banana, can you? 

Made by Classic Erotica, Happy Penis is sold as a flavoured lube. There’s a problem right there in our opinion. Yes, this is a lube in the broadest sense of the word but it’s probably not the kind of lube you’re going to want to get inside of any orifice other than your mouth. There are just too many less-than-perfect ingredients, and if you’re prone to yeast infections or irritate easily then this is almost certainly going to cause you problems.

The ingredients are all based around the following:

Water, Glycerin, Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Xanthan Gum, Mineral Oil, Steareth-21, Carbomer, Flavor, Triethanolamine, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Sorbic Acid, Disodium EDTA, Sodium Saccharin

In addition to the above, there are other additives & colours depending on which lube you choose.

The lube comes in a cute little bottle that’s not a bit discreet, looking something like a cross between a roll-on deodorant and a penis. The label shows… well, Happy Penises. Have fun explaining that one to your parents/children/roommate! The bottle has a quirky way of opening too. You pull up on the dome-shaped lid and squeeze – that’s it. No mess, no fuss, no annoying drips. I’m not sure whether I’d like to see more lubes in bottles like this, but it certainly works here. 

 Grasp the top firmly and tug. Don’t worry, you won’t hurt it 
When the lube comes out you’ll notice two things. First is the smell, and second is the consistency. This might be the strangest feeling lube we’ve ever tried. It’s often described in reviews as being something like pudding and that description definitely works for us. Actually, it might be more like body lotion or even wood glue – I can’t quite decide which now that I think about it. Fortunately it doesn’t taste like wood glue though. The banana really does taste like banana pudding – albeit banana pudding with a ton of sugar in there. We’ve found ourselves wondering whether that’s deliberate to stop people from just eating a ton of this lube. That’s not the case for the mint though. While it doesn’t taste too artificial either, it’s more toothpaste-like than the kind of mint sweets you might like to suck on.  

The 4fl oz bottle of Happy Penis really does go a long way. That could be because we don’t use it too often (see next paragraph), but it’s also because you don’t need much of this during a session. We tend to use about a dime-sized blob for oral and don’t need to re-apply again.

The above might make it seem like we don’t like this – we do, it’s just not what we’d consider a lube, more an oral-sex enhancer. However, something we really aren’t too fussy on is the tingling lips that you get with this. Since we own both the banana and the mint, we now know that the tingling is something that’s part of the lube itself rather than the flavouring. Both flavours do it and if we’re honest, it’s a little off-putting and the one thing we’d change about this.

It’s still worth trying at the price if you want something a bit different, but isn’t likely to be something you’re going to want to use every time you give a blow job.

Overall:
Happy Penis is an unusual lube that’s great at what it does, just don’t expect it to replace any of your other lubes. This is good for one thing only – tasty (or tastier) blow jobs and won’t work well for anything else you’d normally use a lube for. The pros (taste, thick, long lasting) still outweigh the cons (tingling lips, parabens) though and even if you only use this once or twice, it’s worth trying for the price.
Our rating:
3/5 stars


This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com

Is it him? Is it… oh forget it. It’s her. And although Mrs PassionCpl admits to her boobs being her best feature, her bum is just too inviting sometimes.

Now where’s that Sassy Booty lube..?

It’s a Pisces thing

Our good friend ImaGodiva sent us this picture recently. These are a must for all Pisceans, since life looks so much more agreeable through rose-tinted goggles. 

I was (jokingly) going to ask whether they make those lenses as contacts, but these are just too cool as they are. Besides, Steampunk makes everything better, right?

Just got some sexy little things from our friends at Bodyaware.com and Xdress.com.  And who doesn’t love getting goodies in an otherwise boring mail delivery?  These sure beat bills!

Reviews to come soon, but in the meantime, here’s a little tease…

Sexy Pic of the Day

Another fan request (yay, we’ve had fan requests!) We’ve actually had a few of those lately. Thank you guys & girls, we’re very flattered!

Sinful Sunday

Sliquid’s Sassy Booty lube is – as the name suggests – marketed primarily as an anal lube. It’s thicker than many lubes, and if you were lying face down having this applied to your behind you could easily be forgiven for thinking it’s silicone based rather than water. For this reason it doesn’t feel like your own natural lubrication, but given the all-natural ingredients it could easily be used vaginally without causing any problems.

We use this primarily for pegging, having started out with other water-based lubes like Astroglide. But after some experimentation with other lubes, we’re now convinced that this is THE water-based lube for anal play. There are other contenders to the throne of course, but another highly-rated lube, Maximus, has parabens/ingredients that irritate both of us (so we’ve unfortunately got almost a whole bottle of that left!).

We described this as almost silicone-like. That might be unintentionally misleading though – it’s not as slick as some silicone-based lubes (like our fave, Wicked Ultra) but it’s thicker than you’d expect for a water-based one.  It also isn’t runny at all, and you can apply some to your fingertips and it will still be where you put it several seconds later. That’s not to say it won’t run – it will – it’s just got a good consistency. I’d probably describe it as being something like thick sugar water but without the texture. 

First application
 
Ten seconds later, it’s barely moved. 
Hmmm, where’s the wife? It’d be a shame to waste this…
As a test, I squeezed some of this out of the bottle onto my fingertips. It stayed put for a good 5 seconds before it even began to look like it was going to move. After about 10 seconds it slowly started to drip down towards my next finger. So I wouldn’t say it doesn’t move, but it’s certainly thick with a wonderful consistency.

I also tried a completely unscientific consistency test to see how this compares to our other go-to anal lube, Probe’s Thick and Rich. That one is known for its very stringy consistency (which we alternate between loving and hating). Sassy Booty is totally different and far less stringy, as you can see:

 

Sassy Booty conistency v Probe Thick & Rich
Sassy Booty is made from very few ingredients, namely:

Purified Water
Plant Cellulose (from Cotton)
Cyamopsis (Guar Conditioners)
Potassium Sorbate
Citric Acid

The all-natural ingredients mean that any slight smell is also pretty natural. It’s hard to pick up the scent of this – in theory it’s unscented but if you use enough it has a very slight citrus smell. I wouldn’t recommend this for oral, but if you end up going down on your partner who’s already had some of this applied then the taste is somewhat bitter.

What can I say that hasn’t already been said about this great lube? It’s easily our favourite for anything anal-related where silicone can’t be used. Silicone toys work very well with this and we’ll sometimes use it as a ‘starter’ lube for regular anal sex too.

The downside with any water-based lube is that there will be a tendency to dry out and get a little tacky. Of course that’s exactly because they’re water-based, since the water will tend to evaporate or absorb into the skin. Depending on what you’re doing, you can sometimes reactivate these lubes with a little more water (or saliva, should you not want to stop what you’re doing). Failing that, the lube will have to be reapplied. We’ve found that Sassy Booty needs to be reapplied about once every 20 minutes or so if we’re pegging with it. As far as I can guess (being a man and not producing lubrication back there), this is how I imagine natural lubrication would feel. If my ass is being toyed with using silicone lube, it just feels very, very slick. With this it almost feels as though it’s part of me.

We haven’t used this for vaginal sex, but imagine that while it would work,  it might get a little too tacky for that.

This comes in a plastic 4.2oz or 8.5oz bottle (we got the former) with press-down cap, which can get a little annoying, especially as you get further down the bottle. I’d love a bigger bottle of this with a pump dispenser). The bottle is nice and fairly discreet with a pink label featuring white graphics. Some might find it a little too feminine for them, so that should probably be taken into consideration.

The Sliquid Website lists the following features for Sassy Booty:

Ultra thick water based gel
100% Vegan friendly
Water soluble and easy to clean up
Glycerin free and paraben free
Hypoallergenic and non-toxic
Latex, rubber, and plastic friendly
Non-staining, unflavored and unscented
Uniquely blended to emulate your body’s own natural lubrication

Overall:

If you’re looking for a safe, water-based lube designed for anal play then Sliquid’s Sassy Booty really should be at the top of your shopping list. Boasting all-natural ingredients and safe for use with any toys, this is one lube that has earned its permanent place on our bedside table.
Our rating:
5/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com

Think you know what Scotland’s National Animal is?  Hands up if you said ‘Haggis’ or ‘Loch Ness Monster’.

Go on, Google it. You’ll be surprised.

No polls on this one – there’s really no denying that it’s Mrs PassionCpl (and friend) today!

Marketed and sold as a unisex anal probe, you’ll often see Aneros’ Tempo described as a ‘work of art’. That’s no exaggeration – for a sex toy (and I use the term broadly since this is more of a sculpture than a toy) this really is impressive. So impressive that if it weren’t for the way this feels then you could be forgiven for wanting to spend more time looking at the thing than actually using it.

When I bought this it was my first steel toy, but it soon led to others (namely several Njoy products). Not only does it work with any body-safe lube you care to throw at it, it couldn’t be easier to clean with hot, soapy water. There are no sharp edges or grooves on the Tempo either, so thorough cleaning is quick and easy. Steel can be cooled (fridge or cold water) or warmed either with warm water or holding it close, and no matter how hot or cold it is at first it always ends up coming back to your body temperature. In fact one of the things that’s surprised me about using the Tempo is just how hot it feels when I remove it, despite usually cooling it first. Turns out my wife was right when she told me I had a ‘hot ass’!

A lot of research went into the Agency’s latest bugging device

The idea behind the Tempo is that it’s a massager rather than a P-spot toy. It’s important to make that distinction here. Most Aneros products are aimed at men and their prostates, whereas the Tempo is listed as being unisex and not something that men should necessarily be aiming at their prostates anyway. The Aneros website has this to say about what the Tempo actually is:

In the tradition of our acclaimed Peridise massagers, strategically placed knobs utilize the natural rhythms of the inner and outer sphincters. Once inserted, both sphincters spontaneously contract causing this stainless steel beauty to quiver. With a little practice, the Tempo will provide amazingly powerful performances. Use it by yourself or with a partner, both men and women will love exploring with the Tempo.

Due to the size and nature of the Tempo, it can be used by both beginners and those who are more seasoned in anal play and exploration. Whether you’ll get as much out of it as the next person is subjective, but it’s certainly something that can – in theory – be used by all as a tool to stimulate the first few inches of the anal passage. Think of it as kegels for your butt and you’ll have a good idea of what you’re supposed to expect from this.

Made of highly-polished medical-grade stainless steel and weighing a hefty 8oz (that’s half a pound in case you don’t get into the kitchen much), it would be easy to think that this would be like shoving a lump of metal up your backside. But no, this is no ordinary ‘lump’ of metal. In fact it’s not even a lump. The design has obviously been researched thoroughly and even those new to anal play or probes will find it a pleasure to work with. 

These new Monopoly pieces are so much more fun than the old ones!  

A quick word of warning though – Stainless Steel contains Nickel, so this shouldn’t be used if you know you are allergic to – or have experienced discomfort using – products that contain Nickel.
The Tempo comes in at just 4 1/2″ overall but of that only a maximum of about 3 1/2″ will actually enter your body. The widest point is the bulb at the top and even that is only 7/8″ – a fraction wider than the average index finger and a lot easier to insert (trust me, I know). What’s better about this though is that the rounded tip makes this a pleasure to put inside your willing little hole. Lubed up with your lube of choice – be it water, silicone or oil based – you almost feel as though it would be rude not to put this inside you!  
In theory, you’d expect this to get 5 stars from us, especially if you’ve been researching it for yourself. The potential is all there – unassuming, friendly shape and size, impressive weight, etc. But… well there’s that word, ‘but’. And – appropriately for an anal product – it’s a big but and I cannot lie. The paradox is that while this is extremely easy to use, it’s incredibly difficult to get anything out of it without either a lot of practice or mastering some long-forgotten Zen booty techniques that it seems only a handful of select students will ever accomplish.  

“You may leave when you can walk on rice paper with the Tempo inserted in your backside”
 
Sometimes a more expensive toy will be very nice but the packaging can look like an afterthought (our Realdoe Slim being a perfect example), but at other times the packaging compliments the toy perfectly. I’m glad to report that that’s the case here. Aneros supplies the Tempo in a very nice box made of thick black card lined in red satin with an indentation that the Tempo fits into perfectly. If you’re giving the Tempo as a gift then the box would make for a perfect presentation. Also included is a small, two-sided instruction leaflet, and while it doesn’t give too much information, it gives everything you’d probably need to know and is printed on nice, glossy paper. The little touches are always appreciated, and my only complaint – if you can call it that – is that when it sits in its box it almost looks like something either Dracula or a Catholic Priest (or both) would own.  

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned” “You’re forgiven. I’ve got one of those too”
In the first month or so after buying the Tempo, I’d say I’ve gave it over 60 hours of attention.  But now, some seven months after buying it, I’m disappointed (or relieved) to see that there are other people out there who’ve had this for months and still haven’t had the same results as a handful of fortunate owners. “Be patient”, the believers will tell them. “Relax and it will happen”. Now while I REALLY want this to happen, it’s starting to smack of snake-oil to me, and I wonder whether people are willing this to work and are convincing themselves and others that it really does.

As for me, I’m most disappointed that this isn’t something you can just make a little time for and get to your happy place. It’s certainly a high-end toy, but unless you’re lucky it’s not one you’re going to get quick results from – if you get any at all.

One other thing that I think is worth mentioning is the size of the base. As you’ll see from the stock image near the top of this review, the base measures just 1 3/8″ across, with a tapered top. I’ve read reports of people sleeping with this inserted but I definitely don’t recommend that. Even though the base has that flare on it, it doesn’t have the width of many of our dildos and I have a constant fear that it’s going to go somewhere and never come back. Further research led me to discovering that the ‘working part’ of the Tempo is at the top, and if it’s in as far as the base then it’s in too far. The problem is that at times it wants to go in that far. I’d have been happier with a wider base, even just an extra 1/8″ on either side. Better still would have been a pre-drilled hole that you could put a little loop of something through ‘just in case’. 


The instructions. Brilliantly simple or simply unattainable?

Although I had high hopes for the Tempo, I knew that aiming too high would leave me disappointed. So while I was hoping for a mind-blowing product, I’d resigned myself to something more “Oooh, that’s nice”. The problem is that while it is nice, there’s either a huge learning curve or my body just won’t bring out the best in this.

The idea it is that you play your own little private game of ‘just the tip’ (or get a partner to help you – that’s definitely fun!). That’s to say, DON’T just shove the whole thing up there like it’s a high-end butt plug. It’s suggested that you lie on your back or side after first making sure you’re ’empty’, clean and relaxed. Lube yourself up and apply just a little to the Tempo itself. Being steel means you can use a fraction of the lube you’d use for other anal toys before easing the bulb into yourself (or your partner) and wait. The idea – apparently – is for your sphincter muscles to do what they do best and work this into you themselves. But when I put the tip of the Tempo inside me, it just sort of sat there, as if asking me “Well?”. A little deliberate contracting and relaxing gradually brought more of the Tempo into my body but even then, it just sat in place like a surly teenager at a family reunion.

I’d already done a fair amount of research into the Tempo, and it seemed that the people who weren’t getting the instant head-spinning factor were being told to relax, let it do the work, put it in and forget about it, treat it as a kegal exerciser, or any number of other variations on a theme. So I lay there, sometimes contracting, sometimes pushing down, sometimes on my side, sometimes on my back. Occasionally I’d pull my knees up, at other times I just bent them with the soles of my feet flat on the bed. I even tried getting out our Little Deeper Cushion and ‘assumed the position’ over it as though about to be fucked doggy-style. But still nothing.

Overall:
Reading back over my review, I’m worried it gives the impression that I don’t like the Tempo, but that’s really not the truth. It’s beautifully made and is totally unlike any other toy I own. It’s just that the steep learning curve and potential lack of results is what stops this from being the perfect anal toy.  Unfortunately while it feels wonderful inside the body, I’m just not getting the ‘wow’ factor that others are reporting. Will this take you to the land of what Aneros calls the ‘Super-O’? Only time – and apparently lots of it – will tell. The quality and design should mean 5 stars, but we have to take one off since it’s next to impossible to get it to do what it’s supposed to.

Our rating: 4/5 Stars




This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com