Review – Classic Erotica’s Happy Penis Lube

I’m going to do something a little different for this one. While this review is primarily for the Banana flavoured lube, we’ve also just bought the Mint. Since it wouldn’t be right doing the same review twice, I’ll post my thoughts here and touch on both flavours briefly.

So, first things first. We bought the Banana version of this last year just for kicks rather than necessity (see how we got that in there?) Having already tried Evolved Novelties’ Oral Sex Candy Spray and had good results, we thought we’d try something a little different. Besides, you can’t really go wrong with Banana, can you? 

Made by Classic Erotica, Happy Penis is sold as a flavoured lube. There’s a problem right there in our opinion. Yes, this is a lube in the broadest sense of the word but it’s probably not the kind of lube you’re going to want to get inside of any orifice other than your mouth. There are just too many less-than-perfect ingredients, and if you’re prone to yeast infections or irritate easily then this is almost certainly going to cause you problems.

The ingredients are all based around the following:

Water, Glycerin, Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Xanthan Gum, Mineral Oil, Steareth-21, Carbomer, Flavor, Triethanolamine, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Sorbic Acid, Disodium EDTA, Sodium Saccharin

In addition to the above, there are other additives & colours depending on which lube you choose.

The lube comes in a cute little bottle that’s not a bit discreet, looking something like a cross between a roll-on deodorant and a penis. The label shows… well, Happy Penises. Have fun explaining that one to your parents/children/roommate! The bottle has a quirky way of opening too. You pull up on the dome-shaped lid and squeeze – that’s it. No mess, no fuss, no annoying drips. I’m not sure whether I’d like to see more lubes in bottles like this, but it certainly works here. 

 

 Grasp the top firmly and tug. Don’t worry, you won’t hurt it 

When the lube comes out you’ll notice two things. First is the smell, and second is the consistency. This might be the strangest feeling lube we’ve ever tried. It’s often described in reviews as being something like pudding and that description definitely works for us. Actually, it might be more like body lotion or even wood glue – I can’t quite decide which now that I think about it. Fortunately it doesn’t taste like wood glue though. The banana really does taste like banana pudding – albeit banana pudding with a ton of sugar in there. We’ve found ourselves wondering whether that’s deliberate to stop people from just eating a ton of this lube. That’s not the case for the mint though. While it doesn’t taste too artificial either, it’s more toothpaste-like than the kind of mint sweets you might like to suck on.  

 

The 4fl oz bottle of Happy Penis really does go a long way. That could be because we don’t use it too often (see next paragraph), but it’s also because you don’t need much of this during a session. We tend to use about a dime-sized blob for oral and don’t need to re-apply again.

The above might make it seem like we don’t like this – we do, it’s just not what we’d consider a lube, more an oral-sex enhancer. However, something we really aren’t too fussy on is the tingling lips that you get with this. Since we own both the banana and the mint, we now know that the tingling is something that’s part of the lube itself rather than the flavouring. Both flavours do it and if we’re honest, it’s a little off-putting and the one thing we’d change about this.

It’s still worth trying at the price if you want something a bit different, but isn’t likely to be something you’re going to want to use every time you give a blow job.

Overall:

Happy Penis is an unusual lube that’s great at what it does, just don’t expect it to replace any of your other lubes. This is good for one thing only – tasty (or tastier) blow jobs and won’t work well for anything else you’d normally use a lube for. The pros (taste, thick, long lasting) still outweigh the cons (tingling lips, parabens) though and even if you only use this once or twice, it’s worth trying for the price.

Our rating:

3/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com

Satin and Velvet and Lace – Oh my!

Just got some sexy little things from our friends at Bodyaware.com and Xdress.com.  And who doesn’t love getting goodies in an otherwise boring mail delivery?  These sure beat bills!

Reviews to come soon, but in the meantime, here’s a little tease…

Review – Sliquid Sassy Booty Lube

Sliquid’s Sassy Booty lube is – as the name suggests – marketed primarily as an anal lube. It’s thicker than many lubes, and if you were lying face down having this applied to your behind you could easily be forgiven for thinking it’s silicone based rather than water. For this reason it doesn’t feel like your own natural lubrication, but given the all-natural ingredients it could easily be used vaginally without causing any problems.

We use this primarily for pegging, having started out with other water-based lubes like Astroglide. But after some experimentation with other lubes, we’re now convinced that this is THE water-based lube for anal play. There are other contenders to the throne of course, but another highly-rated lube, Maximus, has parabens/ingredients that irritate both of us (so we’ve unfortunately got almost a whole bottle of that left!).

We described this as almost silicone-like. That might be unintentionally misleading though – it’s not as slick as some silicone-based lubes (like our fave, Wicked Ultra) but it’s thicker than you’d expect for a water-based one.  It also isn’t runny at all, and you can apply some to your fingertips and it will still be where you put it several seconds later. That’s not to say it won’t run – it will – it’s just got a good consistency. I’d probably describe it as being something like thick sugar water but without the texture. 

First application

 

Ten seconds later, it’s barely moved. 

Hmmm, where’s the wife? It’d be a shame to waste this…

As a test, I squeezed some of this out of the bottle onto my fingertips. It stayed put for a good 5 seconds before it even began to look like it was going to move. After about 10 seconds it slowly started to drip down towards my next finger. So I wouldn’t say it doesn’t move, but it’s certainly thick with a wonderful consistency.

I also tried a completely unscientific consistency test to see how this compares to our other go-to anal lube, Probe’s Thick and Rich. That one is known for its very stringy consistency (which we alternate between loving and hating). Sassy Booty is totally different and far less stringy, as you can see:

 

Sassy Booty conistency v Probe Thick & Rich

Sassy Booty is made from very few ingredients, namely:

Purified Water
Plant Cellulose (from Cotton)
Cyamopsis (Guar Conditioners)
Potassium Sorbate
Citric Acid

The all-natural ingredients mean that any slight smell is also pretty natural. It’s hard to pick up the scent of this – in theory it’s unscented but if you use enough it has a very slight citrus smell. I wouldn’t recommend this for oral, but if you end up going down on your partner who’s already had some of this applied then the taste is somewhat bitter.

What can I say that hasn’t already been said about this great lube? It’s easily our favourite for anything anal-related where silicone can’t be used. Silicone toys work very well with this and we’ll sometimes use it as a ‘starter’ lube for regular anal sex too.

The downside with any water-based lube is that there will be a tendency to dry out and get a little tacky. Of course that’s exactly because they’re water-based, since the water will tend to evaporate or absorb into the skin. Depending on what you’re doing, you can sometimes reactivate these lubes with a little more water (or saliva, should you not want to stop what you’re doing). Failing that, the lube will have to be reapplied. We’ve found that Sassy Booty needs to be reapplied about once every 20 minutes or so if we’re pegging with it. As far as I can guess (being a man and not producing lubrication back there), this is how I imagine natural lubrication would feel. If my ass is being toyed with using silicone lube, it just feels very, very slick. With this it almost feels as though it’s part of me.

We haven’t used this for vaginal sex, but imagine that while it would work,  it might get a little too tacky for that.

This comes in a plastic 4.2oz or 8.5oz bottle (we got the former) with press-down cap, which can get a little annoying, especially as you get further down the bottle. I’d love a bigger bottle of this with a pump dispenser). The bottle is nice and fairly discreet with a pink label featuring white graphics. Some might find it a little too feminine for them, so that should probably be taken into consideration.

The Sliquid Website lists the following features for Sassy Booty:

Ultra thick water based gel
100% Vegan friendly
Water soluble and easy to clean up
Glycerin free and paraben free
Hypoallergenic and non-toxic
Latex, rubber, and plastic friendly
Non-staining, unflavored and unscented
Uniquely blended to emulate your body’s own natural lubrication

Overall:

If you’re looking for a safe, water-based lube designed for anal play then Sliquid’s Sassy Booty really should be at the top of your shopping list. Boasting all-natural ingredients and safe for use with any toys, this is one lube that has earned its permanent place on our bedside table.

Our rating:

5/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com

Review – Aneros Tempo

Marketed and sold as a unisex anal probe, you’ll often see Aneros’ Tempo described as a ‘work of art’. That’s no exaggeration – for a sex toy (and I use the term broadly since this is more of a sculpture than a toy) this really is impressive. So impressive that if it weren’t for the way this feels then you could be forgiven for wanting to spend more time looking at the thing than actually using it.

When I bought this it was my first steel toy, but it soon led to others (namely several Njoy products). Not only does it work with any body-safe lube you care to throw at it, it couldn’t be easier to clean with hot, soapy water. There are no sharp edges or grooves on the Tempo either, so thorough cleaning is quick and easy. Steel can be cooled (fridge or cold water) or warmed either with warm water or holding it close, and no matter how hot or cold it is at first it always ends up coming back to your body temperature. In fact one of the things that’s surprised me about using the Tempo is just how hot it feels when I remove it, despite usually cooling it first. Turns out my wife was right when she told me I had a ‘hot ass’!

A lot of research went into the Agency’s latest bugging device

The idea behind the Tempo is that it’s a massager rather than a P-spot toy. It’s important to make that distinction here. Most Aneros products are aimed at men and their prostates, whereas the Tempo is listed as being unisex and not something that men should necessarily be aiming at their prostates anyway. The Aneros website has this to say about what the Tempo actually is:

In the tradition of our acclaimed Peridise massagers, strategically placed knobs utilize the natural rhythms of the inner and outer sphincters. Once inserted, both sphincters spontaneously contract causing this stainless steel beauty to quiver. With a little practice, the Tempo will provide amazingly powerful performances. Use it by yourself or with a partner, both men and women will love exploring with the Tempo.

Due to the size and nature of the Tempo, it can be used by both beginners and those who are more seasoned in anal play and exploration. Whether you’ll get as much out of it as the next person is subjective, but it’s certainly something that can – in theory – be used by all as a tool to stimulate the first few inches of the anal passage. Think of it as kegels for your butt and you’ll have a good idea of what you’re supposed to expect from this.

Made of highly-polished medical-grade stainless steel and weighing a hefty 8oz (that’s half a pound in case you don’t get into the kitchen much), it would be easy to think that this would be like shoving a lump of metal up your backside. But no, this is no ordinary ‘lump’ of metal. In fact it’s not even a lump. The design has obviously been researched thoroughly and even those new to anal play or probes will find it a pleasure to work with. 

 

These new Monopoly pieces are so much more fun than the old ones!  

A quick word of warning though – Stainless Steel contains Nickel, so this shouldn’t be used if you know you are allergic to – or have experienced discomfort using – products that contain Nickel.

The Tempo comes in at just 4 1/2″ overall but of that only a maximum of about 3 1/2″ will actually enter your body. The widest point is the bulb at the top and even that is only 7/8″ – a fraction wider than the average index finger and a lot easier to insert (trust me, I know). What’s better about this though is that the rounded tip makes this a pleasure to put inside your willing little hole. Lubed up with your lube of choice – be it water, silicone or oil based – you almost feel as though it would be rude not to put this inside you!  

In theory, you’d expect this to get 5 stars from us, especially if you’ve been researching it for yourself. The potential is all there – unassuming, friendly shape and size, impressive weight, etc. But… well there’s that word, ‘but’. And – appropriately for an anal product – it’s a big but and I cannot lie. The paradox is that while this is extremely easy to use, it’s incredibly difficult to get anything out of it without either a lot of practice or mastering some long-forgotten Zen booty techniques that it seems only a handful of select students will ever accomplish.  

“You may leave when you can walk on rice paper with the Tempo inserted in your backside”

 
Sometimes a more expensive toy will be very nice but the packaging can look like an afterthought (our Realdoe Slim being a perfect example), but at other times the packaging compliments the toy perfectly. I’m glad to report that that’s the case here. Aneros supplies the Tempo in a very nice box made of thick black card lined in red satin with an indentation that the Tempo fits into perfectly. If you’re giving the Tempo as a gift then the box would make for a perfect presentation. Also included is a small, two-sided instruction leaflet, and while it doesn’t give too much information, it gives everything you’d probably need to know and is printed on nice, glossy paper. The little touches are always appreciated, and my only complaint – if you can call it that – is that when it sits in its box it almost looks like something either Dracula or a Catholic Priest (or both) would own.  

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned” “You’re forgiven. I’ve got one of those too”

In the first month or so after buying the Tempo, I’d say I’ve gave it over 60 hours of attention.  But now, some seven months after buying it, I’m disappointed (or relieved) to see that there are other people out there who’ve had this for months and still haven’t had the same results as a handful of fortunate owners. “Be patient”, the believers will tell them. “Relax and it will happen”. Now while I REALLY want this to happen, it’s starting to smack of snake-oil to me, and I wonder whether people are willing this to work and are convincing themselves and others that it really does.

As for me, I’m most disappointed that this isn’t something you can just make a little time for and get to your happy place. It’s certainly a high-end toy, but unless you’re lucky it’s not one you’re going to get quick results from – if you get any at all.

One other thing that I think is worth mentioning is the size of the base. As you’ll see from the stock image near the top of this review, the base measures just 1 3/8″ across, with a tapered top. I’ve read reports of people sleeping with this inserted but I definitely don’t recommend that. Even though the base has that flare on it, it doesn’t have the width of many of our dildos and I have a constant fear that it’s going to go somewhere and never come back. Further research led me to discovering that the ‘working part’ of the Tempo is at the top, and if it’s in as far as the base then it’s in too far. The problem is that at times it wants to go in that far. I’d have been happier with a wider base, even just an extra 1/8″ on either side. Better still would have been a pre-drilled hole that you could put a little loop of something through ‘just in case’. 

The instructions. Brilliantly simple or simply unattainable?

Although I had high hopes for the Tempo, I knew that aiming too high would leave me disappointed. So while I was hoping for a mind-blowing product, I’d resigned myself to something more “Oooh, that’s nice”. The problem is that while it is nice, there’s either a huge learning curve or my body just won’t bring out the best in this.

The idea it is that you play your own little private game of ‘just the tip’ (or get a partner to help you – that’s definitely fun!). That’s to say, DON’T just shove the whole thing up there like it’s a high-end butt plug. It’s suggested that you lie on your back or side after first making sure you’re ’empty’, clean and relaxed. Lube yourself up and apply just a little to the Tempo itself. Being steel means you can use a fraction of the lube you’d use for other anal toys before easing the bulb into yourself (or your partner) and wait. The idea – apparently – is for your sphincter muscles to do what they do best and work this into you themselves. But when I put the tip of the Tempo inside me, it just sort of sat there, as if asking me “Well?”. A little deliberate contracting and relaxing gradually brought more of the Tempo into my body but even then, it just sat in place like a surly teenager at a family reunion.

I’d already done a fair amount of research into the Tempo, and it seemed that the people who weren’t getting the instant head-spinning factor were being told to relax, let it do the work, put it in and forget about it, treat it as a kegal exerciser, or any number of other variations on a theme. So I lay there, sometimes contracting, sometimes pushing down, sometimes on my side, sometimes on my back. Occasionally I’d pull my knees up, at other times I just bent them with the soles of my feet flat on the bed. I even tried getting out our Little Deeper Cushion and ‘assumed the position’ over it as though about to be fucked doggy-style. But still nothing.

Overall:
Reading back over my review, I’m worried it gives the impression that I don’t like the Tempo, but that’s really not the truth. It’s beautifully made and is totally unlike any other toy I own. It’s just that the steep learning curve and potential lack of results is what stops this from being the perfect anal toy.  Unfortunately while it feels wonderful inside the body, I’m just not getting the ‘wow’ factor that others are reporting. Will this take you to the land of what Aneros calls the ‘Super-O’? Only time – and apparently lots of it – will tell. The quality and design should mean 5 stars, but we have to take one off since it’s next to impossible to get it to do what it’s supposed to.

Our rating: 4/5 Stars




This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com

Review – Je Joue MiMi

Well I finally took the plunge recently and bought what I considered to be the Holy Grail of clit toys. Actually I didn’t buy it, this was a present from my hubby (for Mothers’ Day, no less), and my first thought was “Where’s the nice top and chocolates I asked for?”  But when I got some alone time, hubby was soon forgiven. Besides, this was what I really wanted, I just couldn’t go telling my family what my Mothers’ Day present was.

We already had a Je Joue toy – the Mio that I bought for him last year – so knew a little of what to expect. Nice material? Check. Easy to charge? Check. Powerful and rumbly? Hopefully another check.

Classy packaging is always a good sign!

The MiMi actually surpassed all of my expectations. Whereas I was expecting a kind of pebble-shaped version of the Mio, this is like Mio on steroids. Made of the same, incredible Je Joue silicone, the MiMi fits beautifully into the hand. I don’t know whether it’s the ergonomic shape or the silicone itself (which I firmly believe is the most tactile silicone I’ve ever come across on any toy), but once I picked the MiMi up, I didn’t want to put it down. The color helps, too. I got the purple, and it’s a gorgeous, dusky shade that my cellphone pictures don’t do any justice.

It’s funny – something I’ve found with the MiMi is that I can sometimes get pleasure just from sitting around holding it. In some ways it’s almost like having a worry stone or beads, and I can find myself in another world just from sitting in a quiet room, stroking my thumb over the velvet-like material.

My MiMi came with a charge, but I don’t know whether it was a full one or not since one of the first things I did was to put it on the charger. It’s the same charger as the Mio too, which I’m glad of since it’s very convenient. Not only can we share each other’s chargers, but it’s just so nice to clip the magnet to the buttons and leave it on the counter top, its single LED eye winking at me as if to say “I know what we’re doing tonight!”

Did I mention how much I love this charger?

Considering what the MiMi is intended for, it’s really very discreet. That starts with the packaging. MiMi comes in a very similar box to the Mio, with a shiny card outer that is ornate on three sides with the fourth showing a picture of the MiMi. Inside of that is a black heavy card presentation box with Je Joue embossed in silver. The toy itself could easily be passed off as a massage stone or something. In fact this works well for that, and provided your partner doesn’t mind getting a lot of buzz in their hands, this could easily be used to glide across your skin and actually does make for a good back massager in the right hands. The size of this (about 3 1/4″ long and almost 2″ at its widest point) means that almost everyone will find it comfortable to hold.

 Mimi with her brother, Mio

As with all silicone toys, especially high-end ones, the right lube is an absolute necessity if you’re going to use any. I haven’t needed any with this, but if that’s your thing then you’re obviously going to want to use water-based with your MiMi. I won’t even suggest a patch test if you want to use silicone lube, since there’s nowhere at all on this that you’d want to do a patch test on. Clean up is quick and easy – the toy is almost totally encased in silicone except for the control panel, so it just needs a quick rinse with warm soap and water or a toy wipe. Although this is silicone and waterproof you shouldn’t boil it to clean though, since it’s a powered toy.

The speed controls are simple, and again identical to the Mio. The magnetic charger doubles as + and – buttons: simply hold down the + to get started then keep pressing it to increase the speed/power. The – button naturally has the opposite effect, meaning that you can scroll back and forth between settings rather than cycle through them. Holding down the – button turns the vibrations off. The MiMi doesn’t have any sort of memory setting, so it starts back over from the first setting when you turn it back on. Since there are only five speeds in total, it’s not too big a deal to get to the one you really like.

Once you’ve experimented with the speeds, it’s time to play with the middle button, or – as I like to call it – the button you didn’t know was there until you’d owned this for two weeks. Yes, that’s right. In a true blonde moment, I’d spent a couple of weeks being madly in love with my MiMi only for hubby to ask me what I’d thought of the patterns. “What patterns?” I asked. “The patterns you’re supposed to find with the middle button” he replied. I realised that I had left the little plastic sticker over that middle button thinking it was part of what made this waterproof (don’t laugh!)  So if you’re a new owner or are considering buying one of these beauties, learn from my mistake and take the plastic off from in between the + and – buttons and at least pretend like you knew this all along.

 

Pictured with Lelo’s Nea

After a couple of weeks just using the basic power settings and now a few days playing with the vibrations, I can safely say that this is the greatest clit toy I’ve ever owned. I was first introduced to high-end clitoris vibes thanks to the Nea that a good friend gave a couple of Christmases ago, and while that’s still a wonderful toy, it’s the MiMi that I reach for each time I want special ‘me time’. Another great thing about this is that it’s quiet, even on the highest settings. So once my bedroom door is closed, no-one knows what I’m up to in there.

I love the fact that although this is a clit toy, it will appeal to both sexes. In fact we’ve now bought another (in black, of course) for hubby’s side of the bed since he loves the vibrations and feel almost as much as I do!

Overall:
The MiMi is the toy I have been craving for a long time. Now that I own it, most other clit toys are redundant. Wonderful to hold and even better to use, this is one toy that will only leave my nightstand to either use, charge up or travel. 

Our rating: 5/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com

Review – Cake Desserted Island Duo

Buying scented products that you’ve never tried before is a hit or miss affair, even more so when you’re buying online. Reviews are always helpful but what works for one won’t always work for another.

Since I haven’t had much luck with many first-time online scents, I decided to go with something completely different and began looking into the Cake line of products. I pored over all of the reviews and still had a hard time choosing between the Desserted Island set and the ‘It’s A Slice’ one, which is orange-based. The Desserted Island one won – this time – and right now I’m glad it did.

The set arrived in a cardboard box with pictures of the two included products on it, namely a 3.4 fl oz tube of Velveteen Hand Creme and a 17.4 fl oz bottle of Bath/Shower Froth. My only gripe with the packaging would be the box that the two products come in. It’s functional and cute but a little ‘drugstore’ looking to make a really nice gift. I suppose you could solve that easily by repacking the tube and bottle in a nice box with a little tissue paper if it was intended for someone special though. 

Although the bath froth had a seal over the top of the bottle (the hand creme that I received wasn’t sealed other than having the cap closed on it), I could still tell what was to come when I held the bottle up to my nose. It smelled very nice and definitely cake-like. Then I opened the seal on the top of the bottle and it hit me. The scent was everything I’d expected from what I’d read – the prominent scent here is Vanilla, but there’s also a mixture of Coconut, buttercream sponge cake, just a tiny hint of almond and a healthy mix of heaven in there too. Since I wasn’t quite ready for bathtime I tried the hand lotion first and that’s got a very slightly different but still complementary scent, with Coconut being the strongest part for me. 

According to the Velveteen lotion’s tube, it’s infused with Mango and Shea Butter and believe me, it shows. As of the time of writing this review I’ve been using it for about 8 months and my hands really are softer without feeling greasy – that actually only took about 3 or 4 days to notice the difference. Interestingly enough, the back of the tube says that the hand creme is ‘Vitamin packed’ and ‘blended with shea butter, whole milk and marshmallow extract’. However, I can’t find much in the ingredients to back up the claim of being vitamin packed other than a mention of Vitamin E in the Body Froth. The ingredients are listed as follows:

Velveteen Hand Creme:
Water/Eau (Aqua), Glycerin, Cetyl alcohol, Glyceryl stearate, Cetearyl alcohol, Ceteareth-20, Dimethicone, Stearic acid, Althaea officinalis (marchmallow) extract, Milk Lipid, Mangifera indica (Mango) seed butter, Phenoxyethanol, Caprylyl glycol, Sorbic acid, Carbomer, Sodium hydroxide, Tetrasodium EDTA

Body Froth:
Water (Aqua), Sodium laureth sulfate, Cocamidopropyl betaine, Glycerin, PEG-7 glyceryl cocoate, Laureth-7, Cocamide MEA, Glycol distearate, Parfum (Fragrance), Vitamin E (Tocopheryl acetate), Cocos nucifera (Coconut Oil), Phenoxyethanol (and) Caprylyl Glycol (and) Sorbic Acid, Tetrasodium EDTA, Benzophenone-4, Citric Acid

After spending the best part of the next couple of hours endlessly sniffing my hands, I decided it was time to try the Bath Froth. I’d been wondering why it was called that rather than either ‘soap’ or ‘bubble bath’ but it soon became clear. I added some to running bath water and it didn’t really bubble up as easily or as much as my regular bubble bath. I was able to stir it up a little with my hand and the Froth dissipated well. It was easy to pour from the bottle, and considering the appropriate brand name, poured a little like thin cake batter. The smell didn’t overwhelm my bathroom but it didn’t totally disappear. If anything it was a little more subtle, but that’s not surprising given that it had been watered down. It felt very good to bathe in and the bubbles that it made lasted for about 20 minutes. I also used the froth as a body wash and it worked fairly well for that too. It’s very smooth (so no ‘scrubbing bits’ in it) and lathers & cleans well when applied directly as a body wash. Unlike other body washes it didn’t really foam on the skin, but still cleanses and leaves a fantastic scent.

Oh and ladies be warned – your man might just borrow this from you too. Mine did, but I’m not complaining 🙂

Overall:

If you’re looking for something a little different than you’d buy at the store then Cake Beauty could have the products for you. The scents are heavenly and last for hours, even though the bubbles in this particular Froth don’t. If you’re buying this as a gift for someone then you might want to put it in different packaging.

Our rating: 4/5 stars

Follow up: 

We ended up buying several tubes of the Velveteen Hand Creme for family as Christmas presents. Every single person who received it fell in love with it and have already put their requests in for more next Christmas!

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com

Review – Tantus’ Realdoe Slim

Well now I know why men play with theirs all the time!

If you’re reading this then you’re probably already aware of what toys like the Feeldoe line do. Rather than the traditional double dildo, the Feeldoe is designed to make ‘strap-on sex’ a more intimate giving and receiving experience. As a bi, pegging couple, we’ve been looking at this type of toy for the last year or two but have often been put off by size, style and color of what was previously available. That changed when Tantus introduced their next line of Feeldoes – the Realdoe, so called because it’s, well, realistic. Tantus takes care to point out that their toys are designed by women for women, but it seems that either some women wanted something smaller than the original Realdoe or they’ve realized that men were interested too.

 

The Realdoe Slim comes in a more lifelike, detailed shape (just like the standard Realdoe) and color, prompting the Realdoe re-name. The Realdoe Slim is manageably sized, and at 12 oz, (3/4 lb), it’s a great and fun way to get used to this type of toy.

The Realdoe’s material is something else. Latex-free and phthalate-free, the packaging states that this is made with medical grade platinum silicone for no rashes, irritations or infections. It is also completely hypo-allergenic, dishwasher safe and has no plastic smell or taste. All of that adds up to an extremely impressive description, and although it wasn’t the selling point for us, it makes us feel a lot more secure owning what is obviously a quality product. When you get that feeling before you’ve even got the toy out of its packaging, you know the bar is already set high. I’m pleased to report that the Realdoe exceeded our expectations. 

 

 This was your father’s lightsaber. It is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a… Oops. How did THIS thing get in here?

These things aren’t called ‘Real’does for nothing, and while they may not fool you in a blindfolded taste test, they’re amazing for the price point. Tantus also says that this is made with a newer, slightly softer silicone and it feels wonderful. We haven’t noticed the slight stickiness that some have reported – in fact ours has a more powdered feel to it. The dildo is firm but has a certain amount of give to it that stops it from being uncomfortably stiff. One of the things we like about it is that it actually feels like a real cock when you squeeze it, with a slightly fleshy springiness to the outside and a fairly solid core. Judging by one or two comments we’ve read around the Internet, some people might find the realism to be off-putting, but we feel that you’re getting exactly what Tantus describe here. Being a bi-couple means that we’re both happy with something realistic and it’s an added bonus that the Realdoe looks and feels like a cock, even down to it warming up during use or being able to put it in warm water first to get it up to body temperature even quicker.

The Realdoe is officially listed as having the following dimensions:

Insertable Length: 3 1/2″ / 5 1/2″
Circumference: 4 3/4″
Diameter: 1 1/4″
Bulb Length: 3 1/2″

However, while we found the circumference measurement to be accurate for the bulb, the circumference of the penis part of the dildo actually measured 4 1/4″. The other measurements were all accurate. 

I don’t always do DP. But when I do, I prefer Dos Sixes

As you can see from the above pics (a comparison with our Slim Jim dildo), at first glance the Realdoe seems quite a lot bigger. It’s actually deceiving in its design though, and the insertable length is almost identical. In fact, the ‘business end’ of both dildos are very similar, which worked out great for us since the Slim Jim (or Jimmy to us) has proved to be a great pegging dildo.

Now for the part where things get slightly complicated. Marketed as a harness-free double dildo, much will depend on the wearer’s own anatomy. Personally, I’m 5’3″, 120 lb and tend to get very, very wet. Couple this with not-very-strong kegels and it means that the Realdoe kept falling out. But as I say, that’s down to me rather than any flaws with the toy itself, although if I’d had a hand in the design I’d have asked for a larger bulb.

I’m not sure I’m doing this ‘packing’ thing right!

The included bullet might be a little disappointing for some. It’s loud, but that noise doesn’t equate to much power. It’s not a huge deal, since you can insert your own similarly-sized bullet. If you’re anything like us though, you’ll probably treat it as a nice little extra rather than considering this to be a true vibrating toy.

Cleaning the Realdoe couldn’t be easier, and can be done with antibacterial soap or by boiling it in water for 3 minutes (make sure you take the bullet vibe out first though!). And as with any silicone toy, it’s recommended that you use only water-based lube. We find that Sliquid Sassy Booty works best for us, but your own favorite water-based lube will work just as well. Silicone lubes should be avoided, as should contact with other soft toy materials. The Realdoe should be stored apart from the rest of your collection, or in a bag or box. We’ve kept the packaging for us and while that’s not discreet, it does the job.

As mentioned, we didn’t experience any stickiness with this. However, unlike some, we found that ours is quite fond of lint. It’s not as much of a lint-magnet as some toys out there, but we’ve got a Great Pyrenees and regularly get phone calls from people a thousand miles away asking if we can stop her from shedding, so it was no great surprise to us to find that this had little hairs stuck to it after next to no time.

As with all of the Tantus toys we own, the packaging is simple and functional. You’ve ordered a sex toy, and by jingo it’s a sex toy you’ve got. One thing we did notice though is that this is likely the same packaging that the regular (read ‘bigger’) Realdoe comes in. No complaints from us there, since it shows the difference between the two sizes: 

 The extra space in the package was enough to makeMr PC’s eyes water!

The insert on the front of the packaging is nice enough – classy and understated with a feminine look. There’s a little bit of information down next to the bullet that tells you a little about the material and how to take care of it (see above). The back of the same insert tells you a little about the Realdoe itself and how it’s used. It was nice to see that this is where Tantus actually addressed the issue of men using this, although that’s not something we’ve tried yet. 

 Well it wouldn’t be a pegging-related review without showing you the rear, would it?

The ‘no smell or taste’ part was something that we found pleasing since part of the fun of using this dildo is being able to treat it like a cock and give/receive a blow job. We don’t always go that far, but the fact that (a) it looks like a real cock; and (b) giving a blow job to the person wearing this actually puts pressure on the bulb that’s being held inside the vagina; meant that it’s now a fun part of our play.

One thing we have noticed is that the upward curve of the Realdoe takes a little getting used to. As we’re currently ‘girlfriendless’ (isn’t that always the way when you get a cool new toy? lol), we’re only using this for pegging at the moment, meaning that female to male doggy style sex can be a little uncomfortable as the penis points higher than on any of our other toys. I imagine that this has been designed primarily for girl on girl missionary position sex and can see it being perfect for that (I’ll add a follow-up when I find out for myself!) Fortunately , it still worked well for girl on boy missionary sex too.

Once the Realdoe was in place it felt very sexy to have a cock of my own. Like many women (I think!), I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have one, even just for the day. This is probably as close as I’m going to get outside of one or two cheese-dreams and my husband loved it. I haven’t tried walking around with it in, but just lying down in a low-lit bedroom drove him wild. I’ve got large, full breasts and he told me that the combination of those with a realistic-looking cock sticking out of my body got him more turned on than he has been in a while. For my part, I was curious to try something I’d read – how it felt to get a blow job on one of these things. Naturally there’s no feeling in the dildo, but I’m not sure whether it was watching my husband suck my cock or the pressure I felt inside me each time his head would bob up and down, but it was sexy as hell for me too!

I found that the one-speed bullet that came with this (with included batteries) just about added a little something for me. Not enough to send me over the edge on its own, but enough to add a little tingle to make things more interesting. Surprisingly, my hubby felt some vibrations going through the cock while he was riding me, but says it’s little more than a slight tingle.

One thing we did try was taking turns to masturbate the cock while it was inside me. After overcoming a brief fit of giggles and more than a little shyness, we lubed it up again and started stroking whilst making out. I was surprised at how realistic that act felt, and – as with the blow job – I felt the bulb moving and pressing against my inner wall. Again, this wasn’t enough to get me off on its own, but the combination of stroking my new cock while I played with my clit gave a very nice (and new) experience that I’m eager to try again.

Until I can work on my Kegels, I’ve found that you need a harness with a low o-ring to really get the most out of these. Luckily we have one or two, and even our trusty RodeoH panty harness works pretty well. The Realdoe fits it easily with a fraction of an inch to spare, but if you’re going to try this yourself be aware that part of the RodeoH’s material will have to be pulled aside (the bit of material inside the panties that would normall hold the back of a regular dildo in place).

 Hello Mr Johnstone. Is Sally home?

Overall:

Man, I feel like a woman…with a cock!  The Realdoe Slim adds that X-Factor that’s the difference between a really good toy and a great one. It’s expensive but worth every penny. The only drawback is that this is marketed as harness-free and using it without a harness is going to be difficult for a lot of people

We highly recommend the Realdoe to all since it’s definitely usable as a regular (slim) dildo too. 

Our rating: 4.5/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com  

Review – The Anal Sex Position Guide (Tristan Taormino)

Now, Mrs PassionCpl and I are no strangers to anal sex. We had both dabbled with a little anal play before we met, and ended up going all the way not long after we began dating. We’ve never really been the types for sex manuals though, preferring to explore and learn for ourselves (what that actually means is she doesn’t like porn or books so he researches when she’s not home!)

During one such ‘research day’, I came across quite a few online posts mentioning renowned sex-educator Tristan Taormino. She’s held in pretty high regard when it comes to many sex-related subjects. As well as being a respected author, Taormino also lectures at some pretty high-brow Universities on gay and lesbian issues, sexuality and gender, feminism and other subjects. She has also hosted and appeared on countless television shows, so she’s somebody who knows what she’s talking about, and not just another author jumping on a popular bandwagon.

 

Those last couple of words might seem strange, but these days it seems that anal sex is becoming something of a norm (or at least less of a taboo subject). In our opinion, that’s a very good thing. We’re the type of people who believe that nothing should be off-limits if all involved are happy & consenting. We haven’t got extreme sexual tastes and don’t get into all sorts of weird and wonderful practices, but still try to keep that ‘live and let live’ philosophy when it comes to what goes on in the bedroom between consenting adults.

Boasting more of a coffee-table design and appearance, this guide actually manages to combine class and eroticism with the act itself. The book is 176 pages long and many of the glossy pages feature sensual pictures of couples (who are all very easy on the eye) having what I assume to be anal sex. I say ‘assume’ because this definitely isn’t hard core by any stretch of the imagination. While the pictures are all sexy and sensual, the most you’ll see in any of them is boobs & bums – everything else is implied. 

The back of the book sums up the contents pretty well, and amongst other things states that this guide will teach you:

* Ways to bring up the topic (of anal sex)
* Simple techniques to ease into it
* How to make your physical and emotional health and safety a priority
* All the ins and outs of the latest anal toys
* Positions, positions and more positions for beginners to anal aficionados
* The best methods for achieving maximum pleasure
* Above all, how to make anal sex a healthy, positive, pleasurable experience.

That’s quite a claim for a book to make, and could sound like something an Ad Man will use to sell his product. However, this book really does deliver. It’s not ‘just’ a guide for beginners, nor is it so advanced that most people will be put-off. Taormino really does take you from the very beginning baby steps of why anal sex feels so good, through how to bring up the subject with a partner who might be less willing than you, right up to advanced positions and toys. There’s even a chapter on Anal Pleasure for men & Strap-on sex, which obviously appealed to this particular pegging couple. This chapter also suggests specific toys to try, including the likes of the Share and Feeldoe (we love ours!). There’s also a section in the same chapter on men’s anal toys (Aneros, for example are specifically mentioned) and P-spot stimulation. In fact, so many aspects of anal sex are covered here that there’s even a section entitled “What if he’s well-endowed?”! 

Having spent the best part of 10 married years with a pretty healthy sex life and a fairly regular dose of anal sex, we weren’t totally sure that a book like this would be for us. After all, it seems that all you’d really have to do is adapt regular Karma Sutra-esque positions by an inch or two and voilà, you suddenly have the Anal Karma Sutra. But this book isn’t really about that.

If I’m honest, it’s not a book that sees a whole lot of action. We keep it next to the bed and will sometimes thumb through the pages together as more of a bonding thing than a mood-enhancer. We’ve found that we get the best results when we read sections on our own and bring it into our play rather than planning it out together. That might not work for those couples who aren’t 100% on the same page (no pun intended) when it comes to anal, so if that’s you, then make sure to discuss things with your partner first. The nice thing is that this book will help to tell you how to do that too! 

Overall:
Appealing to everyone from beginners to advanced anal ‘sexperts’, The Anal Sex Position Guide by renowned author Tristan Taormino is a must-have for anyone who is either considering introducing anal play to their love lives or to those who are looking to spice things up a little. This artistic and informative softback book may not be what hard-core enthusiasts are looking for, but is as pleasing to the eye as it is to the brain (and all points further south)

Our rating: 5/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com 

Review – SpareParts’ Deuce Male Harness

Why yes, two holes ARE better than one! Ok, awful pun aside, SpareParts’ Deuce male harness is one of those products that you put off buying because you wonder whether you’ll get use out of it. Even if you’re used to the idea of a harness for women, many will be surprised that there’s even such a thing for men. This isn’t just something for couples who want to try ‘reverse’ strap-on sex though – this is a great product for ED sufferers who still want to be able to have intercourse, as well as for non-ED sufferers who want to keep some post-orgasm action going.

After buying a couple of VixSkin and Tantus dildos for pegging, we decided to look for a male harness again so that my wife could be on the receiving end. That’s when we found the Deuce.  At first we weren’t sure whether this would work or not. We’d tried to make our other harnesses work, but none of them really did. I could get them on and start to fuck my wife, but they just weren’t comfortable since they weren’t designed with men in mind. Even the RodeoHs, which are more like regular underwear, didn’t work if I was hard.

So after talking to the very helpful people at SpareParts, we recently got our second-ever male harness, and once it arrived we could tell right away that unlike our first Doc Johnson one, this one was going to be a keeper.

Ooh, nice package!

The Deuce arrived well-packaged and in a similar presentation box to our other SpareParts harnesses. It’s heavy black card and looks classy even before you open it up. There’s a slip cover around the outside that shows a man that even the 300 Spartans  would find impossibly ripped. All he’s wearing is the Deuce, and the card also says what this is. Slip this card off the packaging, and it instantly turns into a very discreet black box that’s perfect for either storage or as a classy-looking gift to your more adventurous friends. We left the card on ours since we’ve now got three SpareParts harnesses and want to be able to tell our packages apart at a glance.

Not quite the FFM 3some we had in mind, but we’re not complaining

Inside the box is the beautifully-presented harness, all nicely folded and looking every inch the quality item it is. The box also includes an equally well-made storage bag with a discreet zipper hidden underneath another fold of material on the front (rather than opening at the top, this pouch opens about half an inch down on the front). 

Both the pouch – and more importantly, the harness itself – are made of 77% Nylon/23% Spandex. Don’t be fooled into thinking that this material might be thin though, this feels somewhat like thick, clingy swimsuit material and actually is waterproof too. So too are the belt & straps, (the belt in adjustable from 20″ – 50″, is 2″ wide and elasticated, while the leg straps are 1″ jockstrap-type). The straps are all adjustable with both Velcro and plastic buckles and will ensure that you get the perfect fit. The stretch in the straps also means that you can keep the harness set to your size once you’re done with it, so the next time you use it you just slip the whole thing on with no further adjustment.

 

 Inside the Deuce. You just want to slip this on

 

 Comfortable enough to wear as underwear plus you get an uplifted bum without working out!

It’s not just the material that makes this a stand-out product though. As if it weren’t enough that you’re getting comfort AND the ability to use a strap-on as a man, there’s a second hole lower down on the front panel of the harness. While this can be used for another dildo should you want to, it’s really for you to put your own cock through. This has two uses – it either means you can stay sticking out if you’re hard, or it means you can use it for DP. Since both of the Deuce’s holes are somewhat stretchy O-rings, the lower one also acts as a cock ring of sorts, although it doesn’t have near the grip of a regular one. And if you’re worried that the 1.25″ and 1.5″ diameter holes might not have enough stretch for you, we were able to get the 3″ x 2″ base of our Goodfella through with just a little pushing and pulling. Inside the harness behind the O-rings are some flaps of the same material that mean you don’t have to poke yourself through either of the holes and make the Deuce feel even more like regular underwear. 

 

 One hole or two?

Our only previous experience with a male harness was a long time ago when we bought Doc Johnson’s Ultra Harness 2000. Unfortunately that didn’t work at all – the single strap between the legs (on a male harness?) and awkward cutout in the leather front meant that the design was totally wrong for us, and since harnesses of that type were few and far between, we pretty much wrote off trying again.

Then last year we discovered SpareParts while we were on our quest to find the best female harness. My wife is bi so we wanted a harness that would work for both her to use on other girls and for pegging with me. After trying the wonderful Joque harness, we soon ended up trying the Sasha, too.

In the week that we’ve owned the Deuce, we’ve used it twice. The first time was to try it out as a quick prelude to regular sex, the second was to see how it worked to keep fucking her after I had climaxed. Both times were a complete success. Because of the material, you might think that this would pull away from the body when you’re using it (like the RodeoHs and similar ‘panty harnesses’ can sometimes do). We already knew that the Joque didn’t do that, so it was nice to find that the Deuce doesn’t either. This really does cling to your body when it’s on, almost like a second skin. It’s got enough room in it so as not to cramp you, yet it’s tight enough to get the job done. I really don’t know how SpareParts have managed it. Even when using a dildo in this harness it feels like it’s part of you. Although the Goodfella isn’t the heaviest of dildos, both my wife and I felt very comfortable having sex with this.

We also briefly tried the DP aspect, although that meant using a different dildo in place of the Goodfella since his balls got in the way (how many times have you heard that?)  The two O-rings are placed perfectly for DP, and that’s hopefully something we’re going to try more often now that we’ve got a way to do it. Thanks to both O-rings being the same size (there’s also a larger Magnum model that also features a 2″ lower ring instead), we were able to put the Goodfella back into the lower hole while I used the higher one for myself (note: SpareParts DON’T recommended this, since the lower ring is designed for a penis and doesn’t have any dildo support). When we were done it was tempting to just leave this on since it feels so good (I didn’t, though). I hand-washed the harness the next morning and lay them down to air dry, although SpareParts say you can also machine wash these on a gentle cycle.

The Deuce is probably one of our Top 5 adult items now and we’ve only owned it for a matter of days. It has opened up so many new possibilities that we’d barely even considered.
 

This product was provided free of charge by SpareParts in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

Overall:
Whether you want to try something different in the bedroom, are suffering from ED or want something that will let a man carry on having post-orgasm sex with the help of a dildo, then the Deuce Male Harness really is a must-have. The high price tag is easily justified by the quality, and the options that this gives you mean that this is something you’re going to use for years to come.

Our rating: 5/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com. This product was provided free of charge by SpareParts in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

Review – Fleshjack’s Count Cockula

I bought The Count Cockula model some time ago, and even then it was really as a bit of a joke purchase. And while the other Fleshlights in my collection might get more attention, this little beauty packs a surprisingly powerful punch.

Hey, your flashlight and can of beer look just like some sex toys!

Unlike regular Fleshlights, the ‘Sex In A Can’ range come in a totally different type of case. Rather than the one that’s supposed to pass for a flashlight, these are designed to look like a canned drink – beer, soda, what have you. Of course they look as much like a real can as their counterparts look like a real Mag-Lite (i.e. not at all), but it’s a fun concept. The can itself is quite fun and there’s actually a bit of thought gone into it. Not only does it bear a passing resemblance to one of those large cans you buy at the gas station when you can’t afford a six-pack, but the label itself is pretty entertaining and is likely to raise a smile while you’re working on raising something else.

4,000 year erections? Now that’s what I call a stiff!

I don’t own any others in this range, but research suggests that the ‘Fang’ (the official name for the internal texture) is the only standalone design – i.e. it’s not just a smaller version of an already existing Fleshlight insert. As you’ll see from the picture, this doesn’t look quite like the promotional pics would suggest, but I’ve found that to be the case with all of my Fleshlights. This one is part of the Fleshjack range, which is Fleshlight’s ‘Gay’ range. I bought it on sale, when it was $10 less than the identical Succu-Dry ‘Hetero’ model, that just has a different label on the can. See? A mouth is a mouth is a mouth, and – ignoring the ‘gay’ aspect, I’ve named this one Salma. If you’ve seen ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’ you’ll know why…

Sorry Edward Cullen and Lestat, but my mind’s firmly here

Count Cockula is made with the same SuperSkin material featured in all of the other regular Fleshlights. SuperSkin is a medical & food-grade polymer material that can feel pretty lifelike if treated right (this often involves just sprinkling corn starch around the top). Use only water-based lubes with these, since oil or silicone will break the material down.  Being can-sized rather than the full-sized Fleshlight means that this is some 2″ shorter than his cousins at a fraction short of 7″ long, it’s also narrower, although apparently its 3/4″ internal diameter is larger than most of the Sex In A Can range. 

How the fangs REALLY look and measure up

When I first get any Fleshlight, the first thing I do is give them a quick rinse in warm water (it’s recommended to only use either water or isopropyl alcohol when cleaning these), allow them to dry then give the top a light dusting with corn starch. It’s surprising how much that ‘brings these to life’ – even on the undead model, and you suddenly find yourself with a pretty realistic-feeling orifice on – or rather, in your hands.

Jeremy Wade was excited about his latest River Monster catch

All Fleshlights require the use of water-based lube, this one even more so. I found this to be tighter than the full-sized counterparts so needed a little more lube than normal. I usually end up using Maximus on these, but that’s mostly because I’ve got an almost full bottle that irritates my wife and I for any other use. A thinner lube would actually be ideal as the thicker Maximus can make things a little tacky sometimes.

  

The fangs that form part of the mouth are pretty deceptive. Your first thought might be one that involves teeth and oral sex, but don’t worry – these are really just decorative and are exactly the same SuperSkin material as the rest of the sleeve. They simply push back out of the way when you enter the mouth, and you really don’t feel them at all.

As usual, there’s a twist cap on the bottom of the case that adjust the vacuum (or how intense the sucking action will feel). You’ll probably want to open it up to around the half-way point before using yours and work backwards or forwards from there, otherwise it can be a squeeze getting your cock into this. The slightly wider interior means that the vacuum will actually be stronger than it is with the other Sex In A Can inserts. 

 

 So you see class, the oesophagus leads from the back of the mouth to the stomach

Unlike others though, the internal bumps, or fangs, run all the way down the inside, meaning that you’re getting the same texture all the way. I actually prefer it like that, and the texture is really pretty intense in a good way. Those little fangs are each about 1/3″ long and quite soft, so they more massage you than stimulate. It’s a very nice feeling, and while it doesn’t feel in the least bit like fucking a mouth, they make this toy different enough from all of the others to be worth buying.

 

 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Three are great but one must go

As opposed to my other Fleshlights, there’s no real visual aspect to this once you’re using it. With the others, you can half convince yourself that you’re sliding in and out of a real pussy or ass. But the lips on the Count’s – I mean Salma’s – mouth mean that the view is lacking here. It’s not a big deal and doesn’t really detract from the overall experience, but it’s worth pointing out, especially if you’re somebody who likes to watch what you’re doing rather than just feeling it.

Overall:

Count Cockula is a slightly more portable version of the regular Fleshlights, although he feels a little different to any other when in use. The fangs are part of the material and don’t get in the way of anything, while the internal texture is actually very stimulating. This would be a great place to start if you’re tempted by Fleshlights but are put off by the high cost, but also makes a good addition to an existing collection. 

Our rating: 4/5 stars

This review was originally written by me and published on edenfantasys.com